Dr. Rob Greidanus and his wife Alisa have just completed a three-year term at Rundu State hospital, Namibia. This is an excerpt from their last newsletter. Over the past few years, my work in the obstetrics/gynecology department at Rundu State hospital has not been easy.  I have faced trials and opposition, apathy and frustration, death and dying.

Recently we had two maternal deaths on our obstetrical ward.  It is hard to explain how these tragedies happened, but negligence on the ward was a large part of it.

My words for the nurses were few at the time, but the disappointment and frustration were written all over my face.  There seemed to be no acknowledgement of wrong done, or a desire to make changes.

"Often my efforts at the hospital seem like exercises in futility"I’ve wrestled with a number of issues during my time here.  Often my efforts at the hospital seem like exercises in futility. I knew there were things I would have to let go of when I agreed to come to a government hospital in an obscure country. But there are some things I will likely never let go of, and perhaps never should.  My obsessive nature, yearning for justice, and passion for life were given to me for a reason.  Having said that, I never knew it would be so difficult to carry those traits into a setting where fatalism and apathy are the ethos of the day.

Some days I feel heavy hearted because I think little has changed despite the long hours and hard work I have invested here.  What improvement have I brought to maternity care in Namibia?

Maybe I'm asking myself the wrong question-- maybe success (as I define it) isn't really what it’s all about. 

Did I do my best to model love and compassion in my work?  Did I give each patient my best, serving them with dignity and respect? Did I advocate for justice when faced with abuse, neglect, and indifference?  I would rather be judged on these questions.

       Rob with patient

Here are a few things I have learned so far:  

• Obedience to God’s call is more important than passing pleasure or peace for the moment.  

• True contentment comes when you are right where God wants you to be, even if where you are really sucks sometimes.  

• It’s better for me to take my mind off the ‘what ifs’ and focus instead on ‘what could be.’

I’ve also come to appreciate that love is indeed the
greatest of all. Without it, my life and medical ministry are failures. Love should be what defines me as both a person and a doctor.  It is what I want to be remembered for when my journey is done.  

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