Among the Kampala experiences, was that of browsing the bookshops looking for suitable titles for the ISP library. In 'Literature, Criticism, and Style' was this wonderful poem.....

The Fat Black Woman Goes Shopping

Shopping in London winter

is a real drag for the fat black woman

going from store to store

in search of accommodating clothes

and de weather so cold

Look at the frozen thin mannequins

fixing her with grin

and de pretty face salesgals

exchanging slimming glances

thinking she don't notice

Lord is aggravating

Nothing soft and bright and billowing

to flow like breezy sunlight

when she walking

The fat black woman curses in Swahili/Yoruba and nation language under her breathing all this journeying and journeying

The fat black woman could only conclude that when it come to fashion the choice is lean Nothing much beyond size 14

Grace Nichols (from The Fat Black Woman's Poems)

Which was just asking to be parodied to describe my Clothes-Shopping Experience.

The Small White Woman Goes Shopping

Shopping in Kampala

is a real drag for the small white woman going from store to store in search of small-enough clothes and the weather so hot

Look at off-the-peg creations

with their ample allowance of cloth

and the pro-active saleswomen

eager to sell to the rich muzungu

'It's free size, dear,

we could take it in - 5 minutes only'

But a size 18 reduced to a size 12

loses its form

It's so exhausting

The small white woman sighs

All this way to the big city

to be disappointed

Nothing new for the next school year

The small white woman could only conclude that when it comes to fashion the cut is generous-wearing

The garments are for sharing

Blessings,