How does moving country affect children? Clinical Psychologist, Dr Debbie Hawker, looks at the psychological impact of culture change.

Moving to a new community may be one of the most stress-producing experiences a family faces. Frequent moves or even a single move can be especially hard on children and adolescents. Studies show children who move frequently are more likely to have problems at school. Moves are even more difficult if accompanied by other significant change in the child’s life, such as ... loss of family income, or a need to change schools.

Find out more

If you would like to find out more, there are a number of resources available:

Knell, M. (2001). Families on the Move. London: Monarch Books.

Pollock, D. C. & Van Reken, R. E. (2009). Third Culture Kids: Growing up among worlds. London: Nicholas Brealey Publishing.

http://www.oscar.org.uk/service/children/

www.interactionintl.org

www.tckworld.com

www.crossculturalkid.org

http://s.p35.co.uk/tckforum

http://s.p35.co.uk/eurotck

This is what the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (1999)¹ says about moving within the same culture, but imagine how much more difficult it can be when the move involves a change of language and customs. Especially when it means leaving friends, family, pets and possessions thousands of miles away, when mission families move repeatedly or children go to boarding school, when friends they make are also highly mobile; so life is full of sad farewells.

How does moving affect Missionary Kids?

Moving to a new culture can be especially hard for children who dislike change, may be shy, or in their teens (who are already coping with learning who they are, fitting in with friends and becoming independent). Thankfully though, extreme difficulties are rare. More common among MKs are challenges such as:

• Not knowing where they belong
• Feeling sad when they leave friends and family behind
• Longing for more time with their busy parents
• Struggling with returning ‘home’
• Feeling different from other children (and possibly being teased because of differences).

What helps MKs thrive?

Despite the challenges many MKs thrive with help, which can come in many forms, such as:
Good preparation for the whole family²
Staying in touch with friends (e.g. emails, texts, social networking)
Quality time with parents
Help when returning ‘home’ – especially meeting other MKs³
Knowing they are loved, special, remembered and listened to
Routines
Professional help when needed⁴
Trusting God and believing that what the family are doing is worthwhile

How can I help?

• Ask them and their parents
• Consider sending a package of items the family say they want. But check first, because receiving parcels may be expensive or difficult for them. Items might be stolen, or Christian materials might put them at risk
• Send cards
• Encourage kids ‘at home’ to email or write
• Pray
• Don’t put pressure on MKs to perform during home assignments
• Offer to help fund a family treat, a place at an MK camp, or even a visit from a grandparent or other special person.

Blessed are the MKs

Despite all the challenges, being an MK brings many blessings.⁵ They usually have an expanded worldview, cross-cultural skills and friends, and interesting experiences. Many flourish socially, intellectually and spiritually. Compared to children ‘at home’, MKs in Africa may meet less bullying, self-harm, drug abuse, and pressure to have sex. Their faith and spiritual knowledge can grow deeper. It can’t all be bad, as many choose to return overseas as adults… perhaps even raising MKs of their own.

1. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (1999). Children and family moves. AACAP Handout 14. Available on-line at http://s.p35.co.uk/aacap
2. See http://s.p35.co.uk/oscarevents
3. E.g. camps for MKs are held each summer in the UK. See http://s.p35.co.uk/globalevents
4. E.g. www.interhealth.org.uk
5. Pollock, D. C. & Van Reken, R. E. (2009). Third Culture Kids: Growing up among worlds. London: Nicholas Brealey Publishing

Dr Debbie Hawker

Debbie and her husband David are clinical psychologists and have served short-term in many different countries. They are part of InterHealth (a Christian travel clinic). Debbie is on the board of the Global Member Care Network, and is a trustee for Xenos (a charity supporting the children of missionaries). They have a 3-year-old MK, who has taught them that they are not experts and theories don’t always work in practice!